Each and every day is a challenge. I have Asberger’s Syndrome. My Son has Asberger’s Syndrome. My Husband has ADD and Social Anxiety. I have a temper. I get obsessed with a single task. If I don’t want to do something I will find every excuse to avoid it. If I feel pressured to do something I will absolutely refuse to do it. I work best with a deadline, and I will procrastinate until the very last minute, just so I have to work fast. It has to feel like a competition or a race for it to be exciting.
I have major texture and sensory processing problems. I can’t eat anything stringy or lumpy. I literally gag. I can’t touch rough textures or be around other people touching rough textures. If my hands are dry I can’t touch anything at all. I use lotion at least twenty times a day.
I’m a nervous scab picker and zit popper. I also knead my arms. Or flick my fingernails. Or chew on jewelry.
I cant’ look people in the eye. I avoid talking to people, especially if I don’t know them. Although, if I do know you pretty well prepare to have your ear talked off. I have a tendency to ramble.
This is my theme song. Sail – Awolnation
I love to create things with my hands. Sewing, crafts, pottery, floral arranging, or anything I can manipulate. I love to dance but I can’t take instructions. I get frustrated almost immediately. I prefer to just watch and then try to figure it out on my own time. It takes me a lot longer to master a step or choreography than most people. I just can’t translate what I’m seeing into something I can make my body do. But once I do, it’s beautiful. I have the worlds worst case of stage freight, however. I can perform in a group but as soon as I have to do something solo I freeze. This goes for dancing, singing, talking, anything.
I have hypersensitive hearing. I can hear dog whistles and the machines people use to keep deer out of their yards. If a person slides their fingers on the frets of a guitar they may as well be scratching their nails on a chalkboard (I guess, I actually enjoy that sound. But you get the idea).
I have a terrible time making friends. I feel like everyone is judging me, even when they probably don’t care at all. I prefer to associate with men because I can’t hold a match to the women around me. I don’t keep a clean house… heck, I don’t even have a ”house”. We live in an RV. My kid is never dressed cute, let alone has a recent haircut (it’s been 18 months since he last let me cut it). I have a crappy car that’s full of fast food wrappers. I hardly cook homemade meals and I’m not afraid of microwave dinners. I can’t handle the sound of my kid whining or crying. It makes me angry. Like I want to rip my ears off. I’d do just about anything to keep him from freaking out, but there’s a huge problem with that:
He’s just like me.
He’s like a clone. My mimi-me. Every quirk I have, he echoes. Sometimes he’s worse than me. I am going to homeschool him not because I want to, but because I have to. He won’t go anywhere with more than two people unless they’re family. And even then it’s extremely difficult for him. He’s recently began refusing to leave the house at all.
So far he has no interest in academic learning. All he wants to do is play minecraft… and I let him. I’m sneaky like that. It’s taught him pattern recognition, repetition, counting, addition and subtraction, and he’s starting to read. All without pressure. It also encourages his creativity.
Sometimes I can get him to do other things, but it’s like pulling teeth. We do okay, most days. But every once in a while one, or both, of us gets in a bad mood and then the whole day is ruined. We butt heads a lot because we’re both so stubborn.
The Blacksmith's Wife 